Is Sexuality in Marriages Over-Emphasised?
According to the Cambridge Online Dictionary, Sexuality has been defined as"someone's ability to experience or express sexual feelings". If this definition is accepted , it becomes implied that as far the relationship of marriage is concerned, the man and the woman , need to have abilities to experience or express sexual feelings, in addition to the act of sex itself. Here the important thing to note that while the actual act of sex, the intercourse, may suffer a frequency drop as the marriage progresses and the couple gets older, the expression of sexual feelings needs to be there always, if the marriage relationship is to survive. In a man-woman relationship for life, which has been institutionalised under marriage, sex alone cannot be given top priority, though it is the biological need for mating that has united the couple. Compatibility, synergies and a number of common interests in life should also be looked at. In a typical marriage relationship, the mutual attraction for each other's bodies , first brings together the man and the woman. As they explore, fondle and caress each other's most private parts and erogenous zones, the interest builds up to a nice orgasmic climax, ending in the satiation of the sexual arousal. In order for a sexual relationship to culminate in such satisfying fashion depends on several factors. The very first thing is that the level of sexual libido in both the man and the woman has to be of similar strength if not exactly the same. Both should feel the fire in their bellies and should enjoy the act of foreplay and the subsequent copulation. There should be an admiration for the other's body and there should be an inclination for engaging in the sexual act, if the other partner expresses a need for it. Therefore the statement made at the beginning of this essay holds good. Ability for clear and lucid expression of sexual feelings is a must.
Marriages break up for a variety of reasons. Money, Career, Egos, Suspicion, Drunken Violence, Infidelity------ thousands of reasons really. But if the husband and wife maintain a healthy interest in each other, the relationship shall survive. Sexuality in marriages does not necessarily mean that you have to engage in the act of sex , even at an advanced age and show unflinching and unflagging sexual interest in your partner. Sexual Interest do wax and wane as the partners grow older. This is the ground reality. But the clinching factor is the ability to transform the marriage relationship into something more than mere physical intercourses. The bonding of the mind and the thought processes would ensure a lasting relationship. On that count, I feel that the need for sex and sexuality have been overemphasised for the success of a marriage relationship.