Sex In The 21st Century - You Say You Want An Evolution
It's time for a whole new understanding of what sex is and what it can be. Here's a brief look at a new model of sexuality that can take you beyond the old historical boundaries, and go further then the limited recent sexual revolution to a new, integral and expanded vision of a true sexual evolution.
What is Sex?
I've been a Wholistic Sexuality Teacher, midwife, nurse, gynecology practitioner and an enthusiastic sexually active woman for many decades and I still don't have a simple answer to that question. I can tell you what it's not. Sex isn't just some brief lusty activity involving your reproductive organs, hidden behind a closed bedroom door. It's so much more then that.
A Fantastic Fulfilling, Frustrating Force
Sexuality is a force that is colossally complicated and mesmerizingly compelling. It's an unavoidable part of being human, yet shrouded in mystery. Sexuality is an interplay of desire and denial, fantasy and reality. It's a complex physical and biological template tangled with an equally elaborate cultural overlay. Sex is powerful and promising, chaotic and conflicted, ecstatic and blissful, frustrating and disappointing. For some it is demonic, for others, divine. Sex is emotional, energetic, and often overwhelming. Its power is personally pervasive and culturally ubiquitous, with messages both hidden and overt. Potentially, our sexuality can be deeply connecting; of us to ourselves, to others and to the great mystery of life. Unfortunately, that potential is never achieved for many people.
Should You Be Ashamed of Yourself?
Currently, sex in our world is still mostly based on negative models grounded in ancient history, perpetuated by modern media and the convoluted chaos of contemporary culture. For many, sex is a source of unhappiness, frustration and a deep unsatisfied longing. We live in a unique time and place where sex is overtly in-your-face and covertly in your pants, all the while harboring undercurrents of shame, guilt, fear, denial, lust and self-loathing for our bodies, our desires and our pleasures.
Succulent Sacred Sublime Sex
I believe that we need a new model of sexuality that incorporates a bigger picture of what sex is, of who we are and what we can be as sexual beings. I see a desperate need for a model where sex is honored, celebrated and sacred. So I made one up.
A Sexual Evolution - Wholistic Sexuality
We had a sexual revolution, with its bumpy gains, imperfect progress and some serious backlash. Now it's time for a sexual evolution that I call Wholistic Sexuality. In essence, the Wholistic Sexuality model is about conscious connection. This philosophy brings sex back into connection with all aspects of our selves and our lives in a way that honors the power of sexuality. In order to be a fully vital human being, we need our sexuality to be intact, functioning and healthy. Erotic expression, pleasure, intimacy, fun and joy are necessary for us to be truly whole.
Love Yourself As You Love Your Neighbor (or Lover)
This does not imply that in order to be healthy we must be in sexual relationships with others, but rather, we must create and maintain a good sexual connection with ourselves. In other words, Wholistic Sexuality is, first and foremost, about your relationship with your Self. This includes your relationship with your body, your history and experiences, the beliefs that you were exposed to as you grew up, your current and past relationships, your communities, the media, our culture, and all other aspects of the whole wide world. All of these components and more create your unique internal sexual relationship. Indeed, your sexuality is a hologram of your inseparable mind, body, heart and spirit. Your sexuality is ultimately, about everything.
A Sexy Healthy Whole
It seems everyone these days is striving to be healthy. Exercise, meditation and healthy eating are now mainstream ideas, supported by countless cultural messages. But sex hasn't yet emerged from the shadow of repression and shame to become part of what is considered a healthy lifestyle. And yet, sex is definitely good for you. It provides many of the benefits of exercise, meditation, and massage. Orgasms can replace many psycho-pharmaceuticals and probably a lot of therapy. Satisfying erotic experiences can promote well-being, confidence and self-esteem. The power of flowing sexual energy can revitalize and energize your life force. When you consciously connect with your sexuality and incorporate that power into your life, you become integrated and truly healthy.
Conscious Connection
I believe that a sexual evolution is beginning and will continue to occur. It's a part of the evolution of personal and global consciousness that is occurring planet-wide. And since I believe that evolution begins at home, I encourage you to explore and enhance your connection to your own delicious sexuality. After all, without sex, life itself would be impossible. And a whole lot less fun!
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