In Life We Tend to Be Players
The following statement on Minekey made me sit awhile and think: "In life we tend to be performers rather than persons who live and act as selves".
Pulling a dictionary closer, I looked for the word "person". The word originates from Latin 'persona' and French 'personne'. And from there we have the English words 'persone' and 'person'. Fascinatingly, the word means more than being a mere human. It also means 'character in a drama' or 'mask'. The mystery behind the word 'mask' in itself is so appealing. It gives the allusion of self-protection in the attempt to conceal reality. It's almost as if we sense a need to protect the personality or intentions. But why do we find it necessary to 'play' ourselves instead of just 'being' ourselves? Is it all just an act of self-defense? When in company, information is communicated to and fro: verbally and through body language. As performers we expect ourselves always to be in control. We can't be ourselves because the deceit and performance give merit to our many foibles. We worry, perhaps unnecessarily, about our weaknesses and imperfections? Yet, everyone suffers the same. Who is perfect? Still, we believe faking it is best. Impressing people is significant. And if we can have them conform to our preconceived ideas, we have achieved much. I have never understood the idea that it's good to change people to be more like ourselves. Why, in effect, do we want to change people? Do we not know that they too are trying to change us?
Shakespeare pointed out the following: "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." All seven stages are spent on the stage of life: from infancy through childhood, as a lover and worker, to the adult years of wisdom - when one has experienced much and possibly gained little - ending with the dénouement of old age ... and perhaps dementia. Since all people pass through these stages of life, we should learn to accept people as they are, and perhaps concentrate on who we are. If we had to choose an actor or actress to play ourselves in a biographical movie, who would we choose? We should ask ourselves: "Who can be a better "me", than me?" Standing in front of a mirror brings nothing clearer to mind. We know what we look like. We are used to looking at exactly what we expect. On a home taken video, it's a different story though. We see ourselves as others see us. It's really an excellent eye opener. The mirror gives us the image. On film we see ourselves in action. We see things like natural facial expressions and gestures.
The life we lead should be simple. Playing roles in company is almost like leading a double life. At home we are who we are. At work or in company, we put on the mask and play the character we believe others would like. Unfortunately, the problem doesn't lie within other people. It lies within us. We play the character we believe we would like. That's the difference: not what they like, but what we like. How do we learn to be ourselves?
1. We have to learn to like ourselves first. Accept weaknesses and imperfections and build on strengths.
2. Stop putting other people in categories of what we think they would like or not like. Get to know them by listening to them. We'll see their weaknesses and imperfections given time. And that's okay. We all have them.
3. It doesn't matter what they think. We just need to relax and be who we are naturally. We need to enjoy every minute of what we're doing. Happiness is catchy. (I read somewhere that happiness is a by-product of making others happy.)
4. We need to believe in ourselves. Shakespeare said "Ambition should be made of sterner stuff," and that's the truth. We should have goals and aim high. We should strive hard to make those goals happen. Working at it will build our inner self and before we know it, we'll be living life not as performers but as ourselves.
5. The last thing we need to focus on is being good. There's so much evil out there ... All we have to do is be the epitome of wholesome goodness. We'll attract more people and we'll like being who we are even more. We shouldn't let masks and characters get in the way of living. We are what we think. We are what we say. We are what we believe. So, let us then start working on what we think, say and believe.
Why can't we think of ourselves as Malaysians first? - The Malaysian Insider
Re-Rooting Ourselves in God - MorungExpress
'We could not apply ourselves properly' - Ashraful - CricInfo.com
CricInfo.com 'We could not apply ourselves properly' - Ashraful CricInfo.com, UK - We could not apply ourselves properly on a pitch that was sporting." Ashraful believed his bowlers had bowled well on the second day after South Africa ...