Opposites Attract
I was recently asked whether I agree with the following statement on ithink (Facebook): Opposites attract on the short run but turn out a disaster on the long run. I do not agree with this statement.
Like any house or structure, a relationship is built on a foundation. The foundation starts with dating. If the foundation is weak, obviously on the long run - whether like-minded or oppositely inclined - the people in the relationship or marriage will experience a sense of failure.
Any relationship, where people are involved requires painstaking effort - be it business, marriage or parental. People do not realize the complexity of commitment. Each individual born is unique. It takes sacrifice and understanding; more giving than taking to find compatibility. Our own weaknesses in the end destroy relationships, because we are so busy trying to take the splinter out of our partner's eye, we forget the stake in our own.
Saying yes is so often made on an impulse without any consideration of what the commitment involves.
The importance lies in not rushing into anything. Dating is good. It helps those in the relationship to make sure about their emotional needs. Reflecting on the past and delving into the kind of life we had as a child or teen can help us to conclude what qualities we are looking for in a partner. Those qualities need to strengthen our weaknesses to a sense. Whether like-minded or opposite, dating allows a person to recognize personality strengths and weaknesses.
Love is important. But rushing into a relationship because of a dependent sense, based on sympathy or infatuation rather than love, can be detrimental.
In effect, when we think about the word unique, we should realize that differences are inevitable. Backgrounds differ in many ways. We look at the kind of love our parents gave us; our school career; choice of friends; relationships within the family with siblings; the entertainment we chose; our moral standards; and the way we were subjected to the world on a financial level. These are all mere examples of how we differ from other people.
Learning to be less selfish and more humble helps us to accept the reality of difference and to face the experiences we have dealing with these differences without becoming angry or distressed. We should keep in mind that people are all imperfect. We all have some kind of irritating or unpleasant habit or tendency with which other people have to learn to live. Why then do we expect perfection from others? Learning to cope with a partner's strengths and weaknesses helps us to live in harmony with each other, bringing a sense of equilibrium into the relationship.
You will remember I said that a relationship requires painstaking effort. Through open communication and sufficient time during dating, there will be many opportunities to become acquainted with each other's values, goals, family. And this will form the foundation for a permanent commitment.
The "me-first" syndrome of course is a subject to be discussed in another article. It is this syndrome that destroys many a relationship.
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