Relationship Questions To Ponder
Often, when entering a new relationship we tend to hide our true selves. Similar to fishing, it is like baiting a hook, making it look real good to the fish and then hoping that they grab the bait and yes, they are hooked. In order to get over this phenomenon, you must have a real sense of yourself and a decent feeling of self esteem. This allows you to be "yourself" when meeting and dating. This is a starting point in finding and managing a successful relationship. Too often we get involved and delude ourselves to thinking that that annoying "thing" that your other half does is something that will either disappear or the best one, you will change them. It is easy in the beginning if there is spark. But in order to keep it going, you have to realize that there is work and planning involved. Although that may sound like it takes the romanticism out - it is more the opposite, it allows the romantic capabilities to evolve
There are many questions that need to be answered when anticipating entering into a long term relationship. Below are some of the larger issues, yet still much of the time ignored. Communication is essential; it is the oxygen of the relationship. You may not have to agree on all points but you at least have to "see" them. Closing your eyes to the reality of someone is very childlike and usually ends up creating big problems later.
Start by contemplating the big issues first.
1. Religion/Spirituality Everyone possesses a belief system. Not believing is a form of belief. It is important to know and understand this about your partner. This does not mean you have to think alike but you do have to understand the importance of this issue to each other. If one partner has strong convictions in one way and the other is the polar opposite, this could pose a problem later on.
2. Money You have heard it before and it is true; money is one of the top causes of marital strife and break-up. Spending styles may differ but once again if they are completely opposite, it could pose a threat. There are very strong attachments and emotions revolving around money, spending, saving, earning, etc. It is important to gain an understanding of your partner in this area.
3. Family People grow up different. To some, family is very important. There are big family gatherings, sibling phone calls, holidays and strong family attachments. To another, family may be a "holiday" occurrence. This may be okay if each partner is aware and can accept the dynamic. But, if there is no acceptance then this could be a relationship brick wall.
4. Ambition This is a point often ignored, sorry to say females ignore this more than males. It is okay to have wants and desires. It is okay to have big goals and high expectations. And, yes it is quite alright to go with the status quo. Not everyone is ambitious. Do not mistake lack of ambition with lack of responsibility. This scenario happens more than you think. A balance in this department is important. Waiting at home for your woman or man who is held up at the office, late again can be frustrating if ambition is not on the list of priorities. In the same right, getting upset at your spouse for not having the drive and determination to rise to the top is also a big pop of the relationship bubble.
These are only a few of the questions and topics that need to be assessed and looked at when entering into a long term union. It is easy to be blinded by lust and physical attraction but in order to sustainability, there are important things that need to be at least tossed around.
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