Marriage Today - Dysfunctional or Functional?
Divorce statistics these days are enough to keep us all single by choice! After a glimpse at these statistics, staying home to grow old with our cats doesn't look so bad, does it? If you've already been through Marriage #1 and are seriously contemplating Marriage #2, where do you go to get the GOOD news?
I was terrified. I had been all through my first marriage from start to dead-end, had healed the open wounds, and had managed to find happiness again. Then my "happiness" proposed to me. It was an immediate "YES!", but as time went by getting us closer to "The Day", I got scared.
Fact is, second marriages have less of a chance at survival than first marriages do...and the outlook for ANY marriage is not so good anymore!
Would we turn into another "dysfuctional" couple trying to survive?
I bombarded my soon-to-be husband with endless questions all based on my fear of, "What if we don't make it? I don't think I could live through another divorce!"
I expected the same fear from him. After all, he had been married before, too. Instead, I found a rational and secure man. His answer?
"What if we DO make it? Somehow, you're going to have to stop focusing on what could go wrong and focus on what can go RIGHT!"
The simple mentality of his answer floored me. As of that day, I stopped focusing on all the potential pitfalls we could encounter, and instead began focusing on the end goal we both desired... "'til death do us part". However, we both now had knowledge that neither of us had when we were married to another our first go 'round.
We know what CAN go wrong. We know the "warning signs". We have the tools needed to stop ourselves from letting this relationship snowball out of control.
Are we perfect at it? No. I don't believe any couple is perfect. However, I do believe that the most perfect of couples know perfectly well that marriage takes work, effort, patience...and a ton of understanding.
Together, we have 4 children ranging from a high school graduate to a pre-schooler. We have one that lives with us, two that live with their mothers, one one that lives on his own. Our "Family Tree" branches in the oddest way! Family functions require not only name tags, but a "by-line" to explain how that person fits in all that madness!
"Hi! My Name is Sue. I am Bobby's moms ex-husbands cousins aunt" (got that?)
Pretty dysfunctional, isn't it?
We don't think so. We believe we are fully functional.
Divorce ends a marriage...not a family. Functional families continue to grow. Our marriage to each other is the roots of our new, improved, and INCREASED family. It works, and we work at it.
After all, What if we DO make it?
If you are sitting there researching the odds of the survival of your impending or current marriage, stop. I want to share the "Good news" with you.
It's not about statistics...it's about attitude and determination on the part of you and your spouse.
You have a choice-
Worry about everything that could go wrong, or
Realize that you are wiser now, you have learned from your past (but are NOT still living in that past), and take the chance.
"What if you DO make it?"
Ms Ledbetter has been in the personal and business relationship industry for over 20 years. Besides being a wife and mother, Ms Ledbetter is also the author of The V Factors - Simple Secrets to Improve YOUR
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/
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