Will My Husband and I Make Up? These Tips Will Help Make Sure the Answer is Yes

If you're asking this question of your marriage, I have to assume that there is a good deal of distance between you and your husband right now, although I can't possibly know the issues that are contributing to it. However, there are universal characteristics of marriages that can be saved, which I will discuss in this article. Making up or saving the marriage really requires two things - affection and then commitment. This article will offer tips to help you restore or bring about these things so that you can make up and save the marriage.

Bringing The Intimacy And Affection Back In Your Marriage Is The First Step In Making Up: It may seem backward when I tell you this, but please bear with me. So many married couples go about the process of "making up" or "getting back together" all wrong. Usually, when serious issues occur, one or both people (most often the wife) wants to pick apart the marriage and discuss, analyze and then fix the problems. While I agree that you must work through your issues so that they don't keep cropping up, a marriage that is already on thin ice probably can't withstand all of this poking and prodding. You're often better off restoring intimacy and feelings of love and affection FIRST and then trying to talk through your problems.

For just a second, think back to when you were first dating. I'd be willing to bet that any time you faced adversity or arguments (if you can even remember what they were) you worked them out quickly without much drama or effort. The reason for this is that often people who are deeply in love do not want to mess it up or interfere with all of the good things that are going on by fighting.

So, it's vital that you return feelings of affection, intimacy and empathy into your relationship. Once you do, working through your issues and making up are so much easier.

Of course, I know that your life as it is today is often very different than it may have been when you first met. There is likely now two jobs, a household to manage, children, perhaps aging parents, and all sorts of other responsibilities and obligations that must be addressed.

However, even small efforts can make a huge difference. If you give a little bit, you'll often get every bit of what you give right back. Providing what your husband needs to be happy will often ensure that he will do the same. This will make you both happier.

Appearing More Attractive, Appealing And Understanding To Your Husband So That He Wants To Make Up: Sometimes when we are smack in the middle of a fight or argument, it's easy to participate in behaviors that are meant to get a strong reaction out of your husband or force him to pay attention to you. This can lead to behavior that is unbecoming and not typical of the wife you really want to be. You're often so desperate for attention and a reaction, that you'll take even a negative reaction just to feel heard.

Although it's very common to do this, it is actually pushing your husband further away as it is eliciting negative feelings that hurts rather than helps your marriage.

Before acting, always ask yourself whether your actions are promoting positive or negative feelings. This means that you shouldn't engage with your husband or push his buttons. You shouldn't argue, stalk, beg, bug, or repeatedly text and call if he is not receptive to this.

Rather than your husband seeing an out of control, highly emotional wife, you want him to see the calm, loving, and open woman he first fell in love with. You want him to know that you want to make up, but you aren't going to participate in behaviors that will diminish the chances of this happening.

If you think about it, I'd bet you can pinpoint the qualities that contributed to your husband falling in love with you. Maybe it was your sense of humor, your quiet understanding, or your being a good listener. Whatever qualities drew your husband to you, how often is he seeing them today?

I know from my own experience it is probably not enough. So make sure you are regularly displaying the qualities that he loves (although you shouldn't be obvious about it or he may think you are playing games and block you even more.)

What If My Husband Doesn't Want To Make Up? I have a lot of wives tell me, "All of this makes sense, but my husband won't even speak to me right now or is very mad." I understand this, but the process is still the same. You may have to move more slowly, but you should not let this stop you.

Understand too, that these very strong emotions only indicate that your husband really cares. If he didn't, he would be indifferent rather than angry. You'll just need to take a series of baby steps to get you back where you're both happy, with each success building on the next.

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