How to Save Marriage When Your Stepchildren Are Trying to End It
Today, almost every second person that you meet is either in a mixed-family (family with step-children), or knows someone who is in one. It is difficult enough for someone to figure out how to save marriage when it is just you and your spouse, but when children are in the picture it makes things much more difficult. If you throw step-children into the picture than you would have a mixture to use in a plutonium bomb!
Anyone who has ever had step-children know exactly what it is like, being "dissed" constantly by the step-child and basically have the child feel that he or she can walk all over you while your spouse sits by totally oblivious to what is happening. Now you know that you do indeed have a marriage to save, it's just a fact of dealing with how the child reacts towards you.
Here are a few pointers to help you to deal with a step-child who obviously does not want you with his/her parent:
- "Kill them with kindness" surely many of you out there have heard of this expression. It is very true, especially when dealing with a child in this situation. No matter what this child may pull on you, smile and be as nice as pie...they won't know how to react to this. Eventually they will begin to see you in a different light.
- Remember that patience is a virtue Try to keep this expression in mind when dealing with your step-child or step-children. Remember that the child is only around for a certain amount of years and that the more patient you are with them the better. It will give them time to work through their own issues.
- Forgive and forget Abide by this old saying and learn to forgive and forget the things that are done because life is indeed too short to harbor grudges for things that seem important at first but turn out to be nothing at all.
- Take time out for yourself Every now and then, take the time to go out with your husband or wife and just have alone time for the two of you, this will help to save your marriage in the long run.
Hopefully these pointers have helped some of you out there, it is not always easy to save a marriage with children It is just as difficult as mentioned at the beginning and of course, with step-children, it requires a little more time and effort but it will all be worth it in the long run when your family functions as one.
Mary R. Jones
Visit my blog at http://howtosavemarriage.org
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/
Added: September 5, 2008
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