Minimize Relationship Conflict in Five Minutes and Rekindle the Love in Your Marriage Today
Coming home after a stress filled exhausting day, the conflict begins the moment we arrive. How often does this story play out in our homes and last through the rest of the day? How can we minimize our relationship conflict? It's time to win back the admiration of your spouse and rekindle the love in your marriage. First impressions are important in every aspect of our life. We make decisions and judgments about how we feel towards other people in the first few seconds of our interaction.
Marketers research colors, type styles and format their advertising and branding to create a positive feeling the moment we see their products. Can our marriage be any different? If we have a generally positive healthy relationship, under normal conditions we have a little more time with our loved ones before they will make any judgment. I refer to this time as my "five minute rule".
The "five minute rule" simply states that the first five minutes we spend reconnecting with our partner after time away will determine the tone for the rest of the day or evening. It's a personal choice which direction we choose. If we choose to have a positive experience with our spouse we need to move in that direction. Regardless of how our day went, it's now behind us. Take a few deep breaths, look at yourself in the mirror, smile and prepare to esteem and lift up your spouse upon arrival.
Keep in mind that your best efforts could still be derailed by a spouse that also had a difficult day. If confronted by anything less than a joyful reunion, maintain your position. Show empathy for their situation and allow them to vent if necessary. Venting will usually pass quickly if allowed to. If there are negative connotations to the conversation, make it a point not to engage as this will only allow the conversation to escalate. Calmly using "I" statements will quickly give an exit point from the situation. "I've had a difficult day. If I could have ten minutes to decompress, I would be better able to understand your concerns", would be a great starting point. "I" statements are disarming and not critical.
By using such statements we show our spouse that we care about their needs and desire to understand. Be certain to set a time frame and be sure to follow through. Use your first five minutes with your spouse to minimize conflict in your relationship, demonstrate that they are important to you and rekindle the love in your relationship.
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