Understanding Each Other After Marriage - An Explanation Debating
A marriage is the holiest relation in any religion of the world when two opposite sex are related to eachother. Jewish belief, Christian concept and Islamic doctrine direct to binding us by a Godly relation. No matter if there comes small ups and downs in the life of the married persons living together, this doesn't not indicate losing ours hope to understating the life-partner. In Islam it is stressed upon politeness, tolerance, empathetic listening to each others and thanking God who brought them closer and make them partners. As said, all the marriages are planned in the havens and celebrated on the Earth - then where comes a point when the both reach to a level, a level of misunderstanding, a stage where the wed lings start developing a repulsive field around themselves so that each positive action from any side no matter good or bad has no binding effect or improving effect on the both. An initiation of a step to separation!
This growing envelopment of a wrapper around us shuts the doors of our unique consideration: the necessary understanding about the basic ideology of a happy marriage. Many families - in deed happy and prosperous ones - went into somehow misery or distract by following their own desires or finding difficult to understand the counterpart. Where does this point start? What could bring both to that level? What is the reason, ladies and gentlemen, that converts the initial fire of a first-sight love into cold life long hatred...
A simple review of any newspaper will highlight significantly about breaking up and splitting up news! Surprisingly if we analyze, we will come to know that an apparent "love" disappears and shapes into hate...and furthermore they light on some of the major factors mirroring the reasons for clashes and deciding to go apart! Unfortunately, due to many unfavorable conditions of Ego in the both appears a crack lines in the relation. Consequently, This egoistic nature creates somehow a mental situation at which both cover themselves by a negative or superficial feelings which even they feel isn't right but they would do because to get a: "surpass" to each other b: show cultural influence, c highly educated, d: social activities etc.
Actually this self-centeredness, analytically speaking, is developed by a wrong upbringing of that person. If in the very beginning someone is given a stable, proper, balanced religious and cultural training of human equality and "no disparity among male and female sex" - the same treatment of character, learning, chances to work, appraisal opportunities, then one can stressfully quote that such words like "ego" or "gender competition" will have no significance between the wed lings. There will only be a difference, a distinction of love, a care, a holy respect, about the feelings and emotional desires and of course being more religious is another part of demarcation in the eye of God - Allah!
When understood right, if the clashes, conflicts and the arguments over some little mole-hill are somehow suppressed intentionally, the tender level of loving and compassionate to each others feeling would hydraulic pressurize to upper levels. If observing each others with the goggles of interdependence and tolerance by filtering out the possessiveness and jealousness, the life could change from hell to heaven. The life really can be with a very successful in personal and professional part of not only to their lives but also their families around.
Actually, my dear ladies and gentle man :)
Optimistically speaking, the real essence of a happy and a breathable marriage is dependent on just a very single point. I said, breathable, because then it will provide them such a healthy, fresh a nourishing environment so that they feel no "suffocated breathing"....
Coming back to that vital point which if rightly understood, one could pass the life in such a way that for him or for her, the "heaven" is on this beautiful earth. This logic to understand is to "be always in struggle finding different methods and charming ways for loving to your partner - at the cost of your envelop of ego, time, wealth, material things but just and stuff! Always finding the turns to satisfying, to give each other what desires, verbosely and physically! Then observe the marriage would stay as fresh as it was on the first day when you exchanged the golden rings with names engraved inside them. It would smell as pure and virgin as the blossoming flower just opened up and let the fragrance loose to be spread in the air! Really, :) what would be a successful result of an experiment which has been observed by the scientist day and night efforts under surveillance of best optimized conditions...Of course, there would be at least some useful information encouraging the scientist to seek further!.. Ladies and gentlemen, the same procedure, implemented successfully in a married life, one can be sure at least that the hopeful results are just waiting for them!
Sadly speaking sometimes come "the situation of suffocation" rising due to a misunderstanding and misinterpretation of the real definition of some moralistic values based upon religious or cultural patterns. A hindrance by any factor to do one's own experiences is an important key to the failure in understating each other. As said in Arabic world, "Ask the experienced rather than the learned". When the married counterpart is often subjected to untrustworthy question or faced by misjudged situations, then either quickly patches up the misunderstanding by clarifying the situation or it becomes worse if left unattended! One's addressing to even the small issue also sometimes becomes significant "patching up" on the way to learning your partner after marriage.
It becomes simple when one keeps another tip in the mind. Mainly the purpose of a successful marriage is to raising a family - like watering of a plant which after some years profits in a fruitful-strong shadowing tree at the end. This tree not only fruits but also provides an umbrella-protection in hard rainy days! These fruits are, ladies and gentlemen, the cute babies which turn into a successful part of a prosperous family. "Not loose but gain" principle should always be the minds of the both partners.
An example supporting to the theory of binding two bodies together in a "marriage-bond" is very straightforward. When one is always seeking to make the each other satisfied, the brain is functional to different ways. With many open sides when one come to the partner one can certainly nip the anger or any other query if there is any in the bud! But as I said, my dear ladies and Gentlemen, with the filtering-glass of love if you watch, the negatives will be clearly sorted out and you will just see the positives: the things which build understanding and loving the holy relation of marriage. And that is the very simple fact! What one should carry out regularly is to clean that goggle of love in order to have a panoramic, glittering, splendid view of partners loving personality! :)
The life after marriage of the people with the same cultural and religious background is not that complicated to pass compared to those interfaith marriages. The clash in thinking over different cultural mindsets deteriorates the happy relation. Under a partial influence of the inner thoughts if the both do not appreciate to introduce themselves with the new learning and understandings, the marriage could soon end in an ugly result of sorrowful separation. The admiration of virtuous and open views should openly be an integral part of their lives done.
Dear keen listeners and honorable judges, I would like to end my speech with a complement " I don't understand how people find time to hate while life is too short to love!" and as said in Arabic proverb, Leaving an open question, how comes the point leaving your loved one if there is just clashes about some little
Thanks, thank you very much for your attention.
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