DO NOT Plead Or Beg in Your Marriage!
Marriage saving tips
When you are in a relationship, you hold a special kind of power over your partner. They are or at one stage were, very emotionally attached to you and will take to your actions very seriously. In order to remain in control of your power, it is essential you do not plead or beg with your partner in order for them to return. By doing so will show how far you will go to win them back and you will then feel humiliated when your pleas are not responded to.
You must not show any signs of panic especially in a crisis stage of your marriage. Your desperation will result in your partner feeling suffocated and then the crisis will worsen by him or her pushing you further away. Before doing anything you may regret, take some time to think about what you do. Any wrong move may be your last if you are not careful.
Let me demonstrate by giving you an example:
Lets just say your partner has left you. You feel alone and desperate and willing to get them back by any means necessary. You constantly call your partner, do the things you know they like, and ask everyone she/he knows to assist getting your partner back. STOP right there! You may not have realised that by doing this you have now taken away your bargaining power you may have had with them. You have demonstrated that your partner doesn't have to do a thing accept come back to you as it came across as you wanting to accept full responsibility for the marriage.
You may not believe this but, most marriages result in separation or divorce by going down that path by BOTH partners. A marriage is a two way equation. You both influence each other in ways you are unaware of. That is why it is so very important to identify why your marriage is in a crisis. The smallest change in your attitude, actions, or lifestyle can completely change the mechanics of your marriage. You hold enormous power....but only if you know how to control it.
Begging and pleading gives away that power you hold. You can intensify it by being completely honest and communicating very clearly. You must remember to respect your partners wishes, giving them space if they require it. When you spend time together, make sure you do the things that make you both feel strong, capable and nurtured. In addition it is very important to also spend time with family and friends and talk about your feelings with them. You should make sure you are calm, collect, and in control of your feelings so that you can talk in honesty before the next time you speak with your partner about your marriage crisis. You must be prepared to do whatever it takes to get your marriage back on track.
Do not talk to your partner if you feel any of these three things:
- Defensive
- Desperate
- Resentful or Angry
Remember that you are in control of your actions. The ball is in your court and the way you react next may determine the course of your marriage.
So what action should you take now? I suggest you invest in an e-book with quality advice from years of experience. Here are some E-books that have proven very successful. You can view these on my review page by clicking here.
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Source: http://ezinearticles.com/
Added: July 29, 2008
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