Remarriage Preparation - Why Do We Need To Prepare for a Remarriage?

Remarriage preparation is one of the most important steps you can take to insulate your new marriage from a re-divorce. I get asked a lot, "Why do we need to prepare for a remarriage?" There are two main reasons why people falsely assume preparation isn't necessary this time around.

I've already been married before

While that may be correct, preparation is still necessary. Let's look at why:

• It's important to figure out why your previous marriage was not successful. A lot of people jump the gun here and just start blaming their ex-spouse. They may have had a lot to do with why the marriage ended, but your ex is NOT 100% responsible! A marriage is made up of 2 people and it takes 2 people for a marriage to end.

• There's baggage that needs to be dealt with. Both you and your partner have been in other relationships before. When we get hurt in relationships, we change in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt like that again. Paying attention to how we've changed is important so that baggage doesn't become a stumbling block in your new marriage. An example of this is a woman I saw whose first husband made her financially dependent on him and then left. She had to find a job and become finacially independent. She later finds a new partner who tells her that when they marry he'd like her to stay home to parent all of their children. She became very uncomfortable and seriously thought about ending the relationship.

I'm already a parent so I'm sure my step kids and I will get along

While you may be a parent, that has nothing to do with how your future step children may react to you:

• This family is different. It's not a nuclear family (mom, dad and their biological children). Biological children don't grieve over the loss of their previous family. They've never known anything else. This isn't the case with your step children. They will almost always choose their biological family members over you. Just by marrying their parent, you are ruining the possibility of their nuclear family reconciling.

• Rivalry is more common. Relationships between biological members of the step family will naturally be stronger. This may cause resentment between the kids. If the kids aren't happy about a new union, they won't just accept you with open arms like your own children do. This feeling of rejection is usually a big shock to new step parents.

• Parenting styles may be different. You can't just suddenly expect the kids to accept your authority and get used to your way of parenting. They've never experienced that before. If the styles are significantly different this will cause a huge stress on the marriage because there will be constant power struggles.

These are just a sampling of the hundreds of reasons for making the choice to take part in some type of remarriage preparation. If nothing else, listen to these frightening statistics:

• 75% of divorced people remarry

• Only 20% of remarrying couples participate in ANY type of remarriage preparation

• At least 60% of remarriages end in re-divorce

22 Nov 2008 12:59:55

What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage? - The christianmessenger

The christianmessenger What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage ? The christianmessenger, India - The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. ...

More details: http://christianmessenger.in/from_the_pulpit/divorce_221108/~.php

21 Nov 2008 01:33:36

Reese Witherspoon Talks Divorce & Remarriage - Entertainment Tonight News

stv.tv Reese Witherspoon Talks Divorce & Remarriage Entertainment Tonight News - Reese Witherspoon opens up about her divorce from actor Ryan Phillippe and her thoughts on giving marriage another try. "There are things in my life that ... Reese: Too soon for marriage

More details: http://etonline.com/news/2008/11/68011/

Keywords: