How To Save A Marriage - Don t Make Love A Battlefield
Marriage does not have to be and was never meant to be a war. So how to save a marriage if your home has become a battlefield between the two of you? If you are always arguing and picking fights with each other, this can be a never-ending roller coaster of arguments, blame, and hurt feelings. Often it is one partner who is constantly instigating the battles and causing the tension. The other partner may be in denial or may not realize their compliance is helping the problem to thrive. There are occasions when someone chooses to remain verbally abusive, and denial becomes a form of self abuse and punishment. If you can't recognize the abuse and understand how your compliance helps it to continue, it is likely that you will stay stuck in a constant circle of endless battles.
Sometimes this means you need to leave the relationship, and sometimes not. But either way, you must jump off the roller coaster you've found yourself on.
Your marriage should not be one fight for power after another. This does not foster any kind of trust and safety, which is needed in a partnership. Instead, this behavior causes defensiveness and self protection, which can ultimately make passion and intimacy impossible for a couple.
When couples hurt each other again and again, their marriage becomes fractured and requires some help to heal. This can be in the form of therapy or self help guides. Certainly you must learn to communicate better with each other. You may decide to make a list of things you will try to do such as:
Don't bring up old conflicts.
Don't bring up old hurts.
Don't expect your partner to read your mind.
Avoid using words like never and always.
If there is something important to talk about, don't walk away but instead, make yourself available to your mate and have the discussion. If, however, you find yourself at an impasse with no clear way to resolve the conflict, stop the conversation and continue later after you have had time to think things over properly. Avoid using derogatory or dismissive comments to your spouse. If you tend to speak before you think, try making a conscious effort to pause and think twice about what you are going to say.
If you truly want to learn how to save a marriage, use these tips to start yourself on a path to get back a life of love, connection, friendship, and joy with your life mate.
Marriage in trouble? Looking for an answer? Need to know how to save a marriage? If you are tired of angry words and sleeping on the couch, you can't afford not to check out http://www.save-this-marriage.com
Source: http://ezinearticles.com/
Added: May 5, 2008
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