The Psychology of Divorce
Divorce has immense effects on the personal situation of any individual. Not only does it affect the financial integrity of the family, but it also affects the interpersonal relationships shared between the man and wife, the parents and children, and extended family and friends. Individuals must then try to cope with a future that is different from what was originally intended and explore other possibilities for their lives. Trying to understand, cope with, and move on from such an impactful event takes lots of time, energy, and patience.
The psychology of divorce is very complicated. Getting the human mind to appropriately deal with emotional trauma is no small task. Generally though there are certain circumstances that will determine how smoothly the legal process of the divorce will go. This deals principally with the level at which each individual has coped with the reality of the situation. If both individuals are on the same level, there is a sense of mutuality, which helps the process go much more smoothly.
The person who initiates the divorce process is known as the initiator. The non-initiator can only respond once the initiation has been made. The range within which the non-initiator responds is between reluctant acceptance and utter shock, despair, and anger.
The difference between the initiator and the non-initiator is that the initiator has had time to cope with the reality of the situation much longer and much earlier than the non-initiator has. Studies have shown that the initiator has probably ruminated over the issue of divorce for years. He or she has probably explored the possibilities of change and has already started to move in that direction, even if only psychologically.
Where the non-initiator is on the scale that measures response depends on how the relationship has been managed prior to the momentous event. If the issue has been considered and both individuals understand that the relationship is not working, then the divorce will not be as much of a surprise. Thus, the emotional recovery time is reduced significantly.
However if the opposite is true, then the non-initiator needs much more time to cope and deal with change. He must have a chance to explore the possibilities of a much different future than his current reality. If the initiator tries to rush this process, she may find that her partner will retreat, seeking the legal protection of an experience divorce attorney.
For more information on divorce and how it may affect you, visit this website: http://www.divorcelawyerssandiego.com/san_diego_divorce_attorney_practice_areas.aspx.
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