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How To Say Goodbye To A Guy



It"s going to be a long night. One of the toughest you"ll have to endure. If you do it right, it"ll be over and done quickly. There are a few no-no"s, however, like no celebrating or calling your girlfriends once the deed is done. Here are simple strategies for calling an end to the dating game.

Be prepared-watch ESPN. Guys may be a bit dumbfounded if the rejection comes from "out of left field." So use words that he can understand-sports talk. Athletes use language like, "it"s the end of a good season" or "you behaved like a rookie on his first day at camp" or "hey on our first date, you hit one out of the ballpark, but now...(shake head)" or "it"s time to be a free agent."

Be specific. If he did something wrong or said something insulting, tell him. Use examples and name names. For example: "when you and Bob talked about my mom"s "booty' I found that insulting and you refused to apologize." Don"t whine and give him a laundry list of his faults. Select those things that really clenched it for you and made up your mind about ending it.

A new job. This is an easy and honest way to end a relationship. Being single and ambitious may require you may need to move out of the area to pursue your career. Your guy may not want to pursue you. But if he has that hungry look in his eye, make it clear that tagging along is not an option.

Leave separately. Separate cars mean separate ways. Do not go home with him for one last "pity" hook up. No if"s, and"s or but"s--it"s over. If you want to respect yourself in the morning, go home alone.

Leave first. Rarely do men take the break up news in a violent, tearful or irrational manner. But if that"s the kind of guy you"ve been dating, taking a friend or two along may make it clear that he"s out of luck if he wants to frighten, cajole or force you into prolonging a losing relationship. Once you"ve delivered the news, you needn"t stick around for his reaction. Go change your locks.

Bottom line: if your relationship is headed no where say so. If you let it linger, apologize. Apologize for not ending it sooner or fooling yourself into believing one or both or you were going to change. Always make sure you are gentle, speak clearly, look glum, say thanks (cuz either way, you learned a lot) and no high-fiving the bartender as you leave.

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