Online Dating - A New Look

Over the years, technology has impacted the way things are done in every aspect of life, including dating. There was once a time when a person automatically knew what to expect from dating, there was a script, so to speak. Guy met girl; guy asked girl on a date; guy asked girl for her phone number; guy called girl with date and time and so forth; guy transported girl; guy took girl on a classy, modest date; guy brought girl home at a respectable time; and if he was lucky, he earned the privilege to repeat the process.

Nowadays, dating has evolved so much that one never knows what to expect from an outing. Not only has dating changed, but so have the methods of meeting prospective dates. Not so long ago, most people were limited to prospects within the same area code, if not the same block. In the days of gadgets and gizmos, this no longer holds true. Invention of the internet has opened up a whole new line of dating opportunities.

Through use of the Internet, it has become possible to instantly connect with people across state, across country, and even on the other side of the world. Where one was once limited by geography, it is now possible to date someone as far away as the computer will take you.

There are advantages and disadvantages to pursuing a relationship with a person you have not met face to face and depending on what you"re most interested in when it comes to a partner, the pros have the potential to far outweigh the cons.

Having tried online dating, and succeeded I might add, I am the first to tell you that dating across the boxes is in no way easy. There was a time when I actively sought a partner online, but before long it grew tiresome and I found that it was no better than meeting someone on the streets. Actually, finding someone online was more difficult. It wasn"t until after I stopped looking for a mate that I found one.

In order to be successful at finding a mate online, an individual has to know themselves fully. You have to know exactly what you like, what you dislike, things you are willing to negotiate on, and things you consider absolute. This is true when pursuing any relationship, but even more so when using a medium that provides you access to such a wide populace. If you decide to search for a mate using an online dating service, as many millions have, you are required to give exact traits of the person you feel is best suited for you. You have to choose an eye color, hair color, build; you have to enter your preferences on age, education level, financial stability, and those are just the physical traits. You are also expected to know the exact character traits will best compliment you; you are provided with a list of qualities and are asked to indicate which ones are most important to you. Many of these sites ask you to see things in black and white and do not allow any overlapping. For instance, you may be asked to choose between funny and charming, without being able to choose them both. If you are at all like me, you like to have it all- you want them both! Once again, you have to know yourself well enough to come to a decision on which one is more important, or to decide that you"re not willing to accept one without the other.

When attempting to date online, more important than knowing yourself is being able to "read" other people. The net is cluttered with people who are liars, or simply can not admit the truth about themselves, or worse are psychopaths. Before you agree to meet or date someone, you need to be able to sort through the bunk folks use to get over on you and get to the truth. You need to be able to know that others won"t automatically share your ideals. For instance, attractive could mean "my mom tells me I look nice, but women steer clear of me because I look like I"ve been on an island for the past six months." Don"t think for a minute that you are safe because you"ve seen pictures; if a person is willing to lie to you to impress you, they aren"t likely to have any inhibitions about sending you a picture they"ve spruced up in Photoshop.

Another part of knowing yourself is being able to accurately (and truthfully) describe yourself to others. If you are looking to have a serious relationship with someone, whether you met online or at the grocery store, honesty is a must. If you are a full-sized, single mother with three children, don"t tell someone you are practically a virgin and send them a picture from your pre-pregnancy days. I guarantee you that even if that person finds you attractive in the beginning; they will undoubtedly discard you down the road- not because you are a size fourteen with mouths to feed, but because you were untruthful and did not allow them to choose for themselves.

Having met several suitable men by means of the internet, I believe it is safe to say that online dating works. If you are willing to be patient and put effort into the long, arduous process, it will eventually pay off. The biggest advantage to online dating is the ability to interview and get to know an abundance of candidates in a short amount of time. It usually doesn"t take long to know which ones are keepers and which ones should be tossed out on their ears. And with online dating, the chemistry created between two people is based more on the internal than the superficial. When it"s all said and done, we all want to be loved for who we are, not for what others see.

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