Dating Advice For Boomer Women - Lacking Motivation? Get a Dating Buddy!
During the last group coaching session of the spring series, one of my clients, Isabel, has been struggling with staying motivated. She finds so many reasons to not go to events or worse, signing up for things, but not attending them. This pattern has kept her from sticking with her dating action plan to get out there, meet men and be seen and really is at odds with her goal to find love.
Does this ring any bells for you?
As she talked, Isabel realized that in the past when she had been actively dating, the key to her success was her girlfriend Rhonda. They had been dating buddies, going to events together, encouraging each other and providing support on the journey. Isabel missed having Rhonda to share the experience with as it had been enormously helpful in her last go around.
Sometimes she just didn't feel like going out or she'd had a bad day and didn't want to redo her makeup for a night out. Maybe her attitude had slipped into the negative zone which wasn't serving her. That's when Rhonda would be a great dating buddy, jumping in to help Isabel keep her promises to herself! And in turn, Isabel did the exact thing for Rhonda.
It's simple human nature to backslide. It's easier to do nothing than to forge ahead. And, the urge to resist seems very prevalent in the dating world for women today. There are so many other things you could be doing that might seem like more fun, or to cross off your list and be productive. Unfortunately, avoidance won't move you any further towards your goal of finding the love you want. That's why having a buddy is such a powerful strategy for staying the course regarding your dating life.
On the call, we all discussed possible solutions which became very obvious - Isabel needed a new dating buddy! With Rhonda off the market so to speak, she needs to recruit another "partner in crime." It didn't take long for her to think of another girlfriend who might be willing.
But what if you don't have a single friend available for this supportive role? Then it's time to meet some new single women. There are several ways you can do this quite easily. Attend singles events and when there aren't enough men, go meet the women!
Speed dating is a great way to find new female friends. There is usually a mid-point break for mingling which makes it easy to meet people. If none of the men interest you, look for a woman who seems friendly. You aren't the only one who could use a dating buddy, believe me. So approaching another woman won't even seem strange. If you have to, think of it as misery loves company - but try to take a more positive angle. I can't tell you how many women have made new best friends at speed dating events.
Another great option is single gourmet events. This type of program attracts more women than men, so now you'll be meeting lots of single women who like what you do - good food and wine. If you attend one of these programs and feel disappointed that the men are slim pickings, shift gears and look for female companionship.
If you're serious about finding love, using the support system of a dating buddy can make a tremendous difference in your stamina and results. And another girlfriend is always a wonderful expansion to life. Get out there to meet new people, enjoy each person for his/her individual charm, and find the love you want and deserve!