Dating Advice for Boomer Women - Why Married Men Find You Attractive
Sometimes my women clients find themselves in a rut of attracting married men. This is actually different than being attracted to married men. There are a number of reasons why married men might find you attractive:
1. If you're dating in mid life, there are lots of married or unavailable men - that's just a fact. According to the census, 50% are taken, but that doesn't mean they stop looking or (for some) stop considering their options.
2. You are attractive. If you're a good looking woman who keeps herself in shape, men are going to look. This is actually positive because it proves that you are attractive. Think of this as flattery and evidence from the Universe of your appeal. But keep in mind, you don't need to follow up with any of these unavailable men.
3. You're new, you're fun, you're fresh meat. This resembles the "New Cow Theory" from the movie of the same name with Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman. The idea being that with cattle, bulls never want to mate with the same cow twice. They always want a new cow because they are ensuring survival of the species. Now women are not cows and men are not bulls, and all men don't always need a new woman. But some married men do have that grass is greener attitude.
However, all women do not run into this problem with the same frequency. For some, it seems like the only men attracted to them are married. So what's at the bottom of this attraction situation? Here are a few reasons why this might be happening. Maybe there's a part of you that:
- Doesn't really believe you'll find a decent, available guy
- Thinks all the good men are taken
- Believes all men are scoundrels
- Worries that you'll never have a good relationship
These beliefs can really get in the way of meeting single, available men.But I do have two powerful suggestions that may help shift your focus to imagining and MANifesting the right man for you:
1. Start believing that there are great single men out there. Think positively along these lines several times a day. Shifting your thinking opens you to more possibilities. Everyone wants to be right. Maybe you remain right about men, when you attract cheaters - proving your point - that there are no good men. Start believing there ARE good men, and make yourself right by finding evidence of good men out there.
2. Ask yourself, "What am I doing to meet men and am I really open to getting to know different types of guys? This exercise can be very revealing because often women discover they say "no" far more often than "yes" to meeting new men. See if you can say "yes" to a broader spectrum of guys online or where ever meet them and just try to get to know them as people. There are no perfect men (or women) but chances are very strong that there is someone just right for you.