Dance Moves You Shouldn t Get Caught Doing - No Matter What!
Havelock Ellis once said, "Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself." That said, I'm betting my moolah the following dance moves, collected from various points in a 30 yr old guy's life aren't exactly what you'd call art nor would anyone want to get caught doing it. The Macarena - The mere fact that 2 old guys were dancing (well not dancing as much as... swaying) in the video should have been an omen but this song became the second longest running #1 and best selling debut single of all time - in fact it holds the distinction of being the #1 greatest hit wonder of all time.
How to Speak in South African Slang
I was chatting to an Australian on an internet forum site the other day, and I realised that we almost speak a different language. I know some of the Aussie slang, but not enough to impress the guy. So OK, I lost out, but you don't have to! Let me give you a bunch of phrases so that you can understand a South African when you chat to him. Here goes: Howzit. This is a greeting, short for How is it? It's used like the greeting Hi. Braai. A Barbecue. Virtually anything edible goes on a braai, including beef, chicken, fish, potatoes, sandwiches, mushrooms, shark (really), crocodiles (not whole, and not often, but it happens!
Seven Guidelines to Use Humor in Sensitive Situations
"A sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the unbearable, " says Reb Moshe Waldoks. It is well documented that humor served to be a life line for numerous Holocaust survivors. The tradition continues. Waldoks, one of North America's leading teachers of Jewish cultural, spiritual and ritual renewal, has co-edited 2 humor books, and was featured in a 1994 documentary about children of Holocaust survivors involved in humor. Other sensitive situations, such as loss, crisis, illness, death, disaster, or disability also benefit from the proper use of humor.
New Airline Charges Humor
Due to increased fuel costs, airlines have been forced to cut back on some amenities, and charge for some services traditionally included in airfare. In addition to some of these changes, this list also includes some changes which, I have from reliable sources, are sure to follow. * $15 each way for the first checked bag, $25 each way for the second checked bag. * $25 for x-raying the first bag, $35 for x-raying each additional bag. * $10 surcharge for x-raying bags over 2 feet in height (since more electrons are used in the process). * $10 for copies of your bags' x-rays. * $50 to have your bags' x-rays framed.
Why Flying Scares Me
I had to fly into Newark tonight and I'm not the world's best air traveler. I'm not what you would call a white-knuckle flyer. I'm more of a white-torso flyer. The reason I don't like to fly is because my manager usually books my flights and he is what is commonly referred to as a, oh, what's the phrase I'm looking for, a cheap bastard. This man is tighter than an erection in a Speedo. He was once arrested for shoplifting from a supermarket. His defense was the labels on the bottles of salad dressing said, "Kraft Free." So, I arrive at the airport early and got my seat of choice. You know the seat I'm talking about.
Sgt Slaughter, DDS
Fade In: Int. Dentist's Office - Day Sgt. Slaughter, dressed in surgical whites with army insignias on them, is standing next to his dentist's chair. In the chair is a male patient, about thirty. Slaughter Hi, folks, Sgt. Slaughter here. In case you haven't heard, Sgt. Slaughter is giving up the rough and tumble world of professional wrestling. I found a much more lucrative career - dentistry. No more will I be inflictin' pain by breaking bones, or gauging eyes. Now, I'll be inflicting pain by drilling gums and yanking teeth. Heh-heh. Sgt. Slaughter's the kind of dentist a real man can go to.
Of True Love and the Loss of Innocence
I used to believe in the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, a Just War, Righteous Politicians, Clean Non-steroidal Sports Heroes, True Love and the fact that Lemmings commit mass suicide by following each other off a cliff. So you can imagine my chagrin, my horror and my utter surprise to learn that the whole 'Lemmings metaphor' which I had heretofore always used as a reference for people who go along unquestioningly with popular opinion with potentially dangerous or fatal consequences is, yep, you guessed it folks, a myth, a fabrication, a lie of mammalian proportions. It all started in a 1954 National Geographic article which showed massive numbers of lemmings jumping over Norwegian cliffs and then in 1955, when Disney illustrator Carl Barks drew an Uncle Scrooge adventure comic with the title: The Lemming with the Locket.
There Are No Dirty Words in Korean
I learned to read at a younger than usual age (for that time, at least), and when I was still a child we moved for a couple of years to Morocco, where I learned to speak French (how fluently at age 7 is questionable). Instantly, my mother declared that I was a whiz at languages. I then learned enough Hebrew for my bar mitzvah. A year later I took German for one year from a stunning German blonde emigre I fell in love with. Then we moved to a place where the schools didn't offer German--and I was told I had already fulfilled my entire language requirement for graduation so I stopped learning a foreign language.
The Meet Cute is a Rom-Com Staple
Just in time for Valentine's Day, in a theatre review, I had a meet cute with "meet cute, " that ubiquitous jargon term of screenwriters pitching their wares to producers. Actually, I'm lying... I first encountered the term about ten years ago when producing a play called "Who's Hot, Who's Not, " by Sherwood Kiraly, adapted from his book by the same name. "Meet cute" is discussed by two of the characters in the play who, as I vaguely recall, have just met cute. This play, by the way, is about the editor of a gossip magazine by the same title, whose only joy on the job is having secured his publisher's permission to write a last page column called "Where Are They Now?
Top Ten Fourth of July Jokes
As far as holidays go, American Independence Day is just not as funny as Halloween, Christmas or Thanksgiving. I base this bold statement on the number of holiday jokes we get from kids at JokesByKids.com. Halloween is the runaway winner, followed by Christmas and Thanksgiving. Poor 4th of July barely makes a showing. But as summer approaches, and those cold weather holidays are a distant memory, we have to make due with the jokes we have at end. So, without further ado, here are the top ten 4th of July jokes sent in by kids (and one grownup) from all over the country. 10) What's red, white, blue, and green?