A Fitting Name
I've always had an interest, albeit a casual one, in aptronyms; people whose name matches their occupation. I first got the bug as a kid when I met my Dad's friend from the pub, Mr Bung. He used to work in a factory that produced, among other things, sink plugs. I always thought that 'Bung' was a very fitting name for someone with that occupation, In Ilkeston (Derbyshire) where I grew up, we had a butcher called Peter Hogg. A man who worked for the water board at the time was called Toby Flood and his secretary was Emma Drinkwater. I remember my dad falling about laughing when we got a letter from them once.
Bet These Stories Are True
Betting is a great form of entertainment and its popularity has spiralled since its birth on the internet. People are now having bets on the most bizarre and surreal situations as well as having a flutter on sport betting, political betting and TV show betting especially song contests. Through the years there has been some outlandish bets made that are the stuff of legend. Here we highlight some unique and sometimes unfortuitous bets. The Man Who Bet on his own Life You've heard of 'Cheating Death' what about 'Betting against Death'? Well, Jon Matthews from Milton Keynes did just that. Back in 2007 he was diagnosed with a rare form of lung cancer and given less than 9 months to live.
The Brilliant Rejection Dating Maneuver
I was talking one day with my two teenage nieces-both sensible young women who apparently have never suffered through the dating experiences I had wrestled with. I started the conversation because I was curious as to the techniques and strategies of the mating dance in the 21st Century. After all, it was my casual observation that dating, as I knew it in the Sixties, had died some years ago. With patience and a healthy respect for elders, the girls gave me an inside look into their world, although I did get a few rolling eyeballs and a couple of those dad-was-right-Uncle-Bob-is-really-dense, big-eyed, blank stares.
Dirty Harry Potter
Fade in: Ext Cave Entrance-Night SPFX: Thunder, lightning and high winds surround this cave entrance. Announcer (Gruff Voice) In a world filled with dark doom and nefarious beasts with two heads... Two sets of eyes appear in the darkness. Suddenly, a third set shows up. Announcer Okay. Three heads... Cut To: Int. Castle Basement-Night The same storm can be seen through the windows as an Evil Sorcerer stands at a cauldron, mixing a bubbling, smoking potion. Announcer Where evil sorcerers mix deadly potions... The sorcerer forces an eyedropper full of his potion to a lice-ridden rat. Announcer to radically change the human population into.
Stinky Monroe
Harry couldn't have been more than five when he and his father, Walter, visited Pug's Country Store on a brisk Friday morning in April, 1926. His daddy usually made the ten-mile trip alone by buckboard every other week to fetch supplies and, occasionally, get something special for the boys and their mother and some tobacco for granddad. But today he wanted to introduce his oldest son to the city of Clanton, Alabama, and show him the beauty of what the changing of the season had brought to the countryside. Young Harry sat quietly next to his father. His little body was as tightly bundled as a basket of hot biscuits and his eyes were as wide as searchlights seeking out all of the exotic colors of spring.
Have Some Laughs at These Hippest Comedy Clubs
It also hosts many major US trade shows and is often referred to as the business capital of the country. A large number of people visit the city every year for various purposes. However, they all love to spend an evening filled with fun and laughter after a tiring day working or sightseeing. New York is among the most spectacular cities in the world. Every year, it welcomes large number of tourists from all over the world. New York is the most important center of commerce and trade in the world. It has amazing restaurants, bars, lounges and clubs. There is something for every genre, be it the sports clubs, romantic restaurants, concert halls, theatres and comedy clubs.
I Think That Stupid People Are Stupid
The other day, I was with a friend and we were having a meal at a fine restaurant and the service was less than what we had expected. And then she said the funniest thing; she said, I really think that stupid people are stupid. She was referring to the waiter, who certainly was lacking in many regards. So, I laughed and said: "I think stupid people are stupid too! " And she told me: "Oh really, well that's the definition you dummy! " Yes, but I am a dummy, not stupid and just because you call me a dummy does not mean I am dumb, I might have said something dumb or blatantly obvious, but I am not dumb.
Employment Handbook - Humor
DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your Salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers &carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Next Patient Please
At 9:02 AM I walked through the office door of the orthopedic surgeon for my scheduled 9:30AM appointment. Arriving early only ensured that the inevitable paperwork would be filled out, copies of my insurance card made and I could then wait an extra twenty minutes past my scheduled time. As we are all aware, doctors are never on time, except for their bills; no delays in that department. I approached the receptionist and gave my pedigree in full account. I was then handed a clipboard and told to fill out all the high-lighted areas and return them when I was finished. This was said in such an autocratic manner that I felt a cardboard figure dressed in scrubs and disguised as a human was talking to me.
Showing Boxers Can Impede Criminals Eluding Police
I, like most respectable rational people just do not get it. The "it" I am referring to is the fashion trend that leads certain people to allow their jeans and/or shorts to fall half way down their rear end. Perhaps I am just not in touch anymore. Perhaps I am just being "old". After all I used to wear cut off and mesh shirts during the summers when I was a young teen. Thank goodness I never wore spandex bike shorts. Something tells me though that this trend is a little different. When I see a young man dressed like this I feel that more than likely he is not going to be a contributor to the good of society.