Kids in America In Libraries
There are a lot of places that are not suitable for kids: torture chambers, bottomless pits, McDonald's, etc. I would like to add one more to this list -- the library. Now, I can already anticipate the reaction to this: "But how can you ban kids from the library? That's not fair. I am going to murder you with a knife." And I understand that reaction, but I am not stating that I want to ban kids from libraries; more so, I don't want to see them in libraries. It's a simple request, really... Kids under the age of ten are ideal targets for the children's section of a library. Almost all libraries have these so that kids can sit on much more comfortable chairs than what everyone else is sitting on, read much more colorful books and -- if too engrossed in those books to get up -- pass up on the bathroom for another, more convenient option.
It s Tough Being an Active Hero
On my back passenger window I have a sticker from the FOP, Fraternal Order of Police, indicating that I am an active supporter -- or, at least I was in 2004. This basically means that someone from the FOP called me while I was watching TV one day and I pledged to donate five dollars in order to get the person off of the phone. If that is not support, I am not sure what is. So, after making my promise, I received a bill in the mail along with the sticker that I was supposed to put on my car so that people who walk by it know that I am a sucker, I mean, supporter. Over the years I have felt a special connection to other cars with FOP stickers, especially stickers from 2004.
Reincarnation - People Are Animals, Too
I have a theory. It's unsubstantiated, but what theory isn't? It has to do with animals - cats, dogs and birds - your garden variety house pet. Although it's become more apparent those animals of the wild kingdom variety fall into this spectrum also. Okay. Are you ready? I have concluded that animals are the product of reincarnation. Let's face it. How many times have we looked at a cat or dog lounging in the sun, just as relaxed as can be, and said to ourselves, "Now that's the life. I wish I was sleeping in a nice, warm spot, instead of mowing this grass as the sweat pours into my eyes and blind me to the point that I run the mower over the daffodils it took me three years to finally get to bloom?
My Dream of Becoming a Traveling Salesman
As a child, I dreamed of becoming a traveling salesman. Every April, my mom and dad did their taxes. My grandma took my brother and me down to Marriot's (Great America) for a few days to get out of 1040's way. My brother loved the log ride and the bumper cars; I loved the Ramada Inn where we stayed. I told my grandma, "I love motels. They are so much more fun than home. I want to be a traveling salesman when I grow up." "Don't you want to be a doctor or lawyer? " "No. I like eating breakfast at Denny's. It is fun having the waitress ask me how big I am. I like having the truckers ask me how long it's gonna be until I get big enough to handle a big rig.
How to Call Out of Work Sick
Recently, I had to call out of work sick. No, I wasn't goofing off. I really had some kind of sinus infection/upper respiratory thing that had disgusting stuff coming out of almost every orifice on my body and in colors that Crayola hasn't even come up with yet. I nicknamed this malady, "The Head Flu." Calling out sick has never been one of my favorite things to do, because I'm never sure if I sound sick enough to be out. And, I must admit, there were days that I probably could have shown up, but I let what little ailment I had override my dedication for the job. Let's face it, how many of you have seen the movie "Ferris Buhler's Day Off" and wanted to take a "Mental Health Day" at one time or another?
Are You Serious?
Desperate to not think, not write and not hear about the Presidential Race I scoured the news for stories that would amuse, or force me to shake my head in wonder instead of disgust. I found three such gems. A car thief in Salinas California was recently bested by yet another criminal. While driving a Chevy Silverado he had just stolen a man jumped in with a gun and carjacked the vehicle. When the truck ran out of gas the gunman forced the car thief out and ordered him to push the vehicle. He managed to escape and called police. Now, I have never stolen a vehicle before so I do not know exactly what I would do in similar circumstances but I hesitate to think that I would call the police to say that a car that I had stolen had been stolen from me.
Are Prank Calls Legal in the UK Ireland?
That's the question many pranksters are asking, especially given the recent rise in celebrities such as Russell Brand appearing in the media for prank calling offenses. Information on the legality of making prank calls is very confusing, mainly because they are a collection of conflicting views. So let's clear that up... Prank Call Myths: Prank calls are illegal You cannot prank call someone at random Recording a prank call is not allowed Prank calls are perfectly legal as long as you understand the specific boundaries in place and why they are there. The regulations are very simple, but require you do not act in breach of them as you can be reported for various different violations.
Rockets and Barbecues, What Do They Have in Common?
I tried to kill my husband once ("Only once? " you say). He wasn't my husband yet and to be perfectly honest, I never did actually tell him to put his face over it after lighting the match and dropping it in. But I am getting ahead of myself. My father worked for the government. He was a quality control engineer overseeing a defense contract with a private sector company that built missiles and missile delivery systems. "Ahhh, " you are saying, "Rockets." During the time that he was working with this particular company, a General, who was my father's immediate superior, had cause to visit Japan.
Funny Stock Symbols - Good For a Lil Laugh
I searched deep through the 'investment closet' for the most unusual stock symbols. Finding some really hilarious ones, I decided to share them with you... hopefully igniting some giggles along the way! There's no doubt these companies were shocked when they received their symbol from the exchange. I encourage you to click through to find out what the company really does (some of them you will recognize). If there is no link provided, the company either failed in the past couple years or had their ticker symbol changed (can you blame them? ). While reading these... Try to think of any symbols or companies with funny names that you may know of and share them in the comments section!
Grievances Against the Time Known As 6 AM
This is my formal application to have the time known as "6 am" terminated from my day and possibly from the world. The following is a list of grievances and arguments as to why I have come to this decision and intend to follow through with it. As you can tell the arguments are many and easily out weigh any possible positive reasons for the times existence (most involving the fact that it's impossible for it not to exist). Waking up at this time is one of the most horrible experiences a human being can experience. Ones eyes are completely caked over. It takes preparation and planning to simply open them without causing horrid pain.