Five Questions to Ask Before Attending Your High School Reunion

I was just about to remit my check to attend my high school reunion, when I stopped myself.

Suddenly, a number of questions cascaded through my mind that you might want to consider before you agree to go:

(1) Are your classmates a lot older than you are? Before you exclaim, "But we're all the same age!" consider this. About half of the people in my class couldn't wait to become their parents. They morphed, gently into that good night, from being high school seniors to senior citizens. Check out their "before and after" pics, the yearbook shots versus today's digital offerings. Now please tell me: Which ones came "before?"

(2) Has anyone been waiting to blackmail you for dropping detergent into the swimming pool; that unsolved caper-of-the-century? He'll be there. He's been itching to host "High School's Most Wanted" for decades.

(3) Would you prefer to remember your old flames with a gleam in your eye or with glaucoma in theirs?

(4) It used to be hip to dance, right? Now, your peers will risk their hips to dance.

(5) Does it embarrass you to not recognize a face? Through surgery, gravity, and the brutal weathering of time, 90% will appear so grotesque you'll be tempted to ask, "Who were you, when you were ALIVE?"

Maybe, these questions don't bother you. Perhaps they even make you feel better, more comfortable with the impending event.

Then, of course, grab your walker, your hearing aids, and your antacid pills.

You must attend.

You're probably on the organizing committee!

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